The last moments of Sudou Shuu
by Setsuna24
Summary: What goes through the mind of someone at death's door? How do they feel? Sudou Shuu is dying and these are his last moments.


**AN: Here is a little drabble that would not leave my mind as much as I tried to push it away. It is unbetaed and I tried to edit it as much as I could. If I missed something please let me know and I will fix it. There are more than a couple parallels and paraphrasing of sensei's latest chapter. **

**I do not own Finder Series.**

**This short fic is for Ashida, Rekishichizu, Coritos, finderlov, , kullotte, Asami's clown, sunflower1343, aoi. .forward, ad for all of you who have supported me and my writing.**

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**The last moments of Sudou Shuu**

BANG!

His body fell to the ground with a heavy thud, he heard Takaba shout and the police run around looking for the shooter.

His eyes were open wide in shock, he could not move, felt weak and could only look at the roof of the old warehouse.

'_It hurts.'_

'_The bullet hurts…'_ But there is something that hurts more, it hurts that he had fallen in love.

'_Why did it wave to hurt so much? I wish I did not have to suffer this way. It hurts, the pain in my chest, it is not from the bullet. It has been there for many years.'_

Sudou Shuu lay on the ground of the old warehouse, bleeding to death, his life's blood staining the floor with the purest crimson.

There were voices screaming, yelling around him, he couldn't see any faces. He couldn't see anything at all.

'_It should have been me, why couldn't it have been me? I loved him too, I gave him everything and he never chose me. Why couldn't it be me?'_

There were many things he regretted, at the top of the list was falling in love with Asami Ryuichi. He had worked so hard and tried so many things to catch that man's attention but he gave his love to someone else, so someone who was just worthless thrash.

'_My efforts were pitiful and I tried it all, even going against him, just to get that man to look at me. Why? Why does he never look at me?'_

That boy, a pest, a nobody without money or class managed what he had spent years trying to do. Asami only had eyes for that boy, how he wished he had killed Takaba Akihito when he had the chance. Twice he could have done it, twice he had failed and now the pain in his chest tore him apart.

'_I've tried everything possible in order to get acknowledged by him, I've worked so hard. In the beginning I did not do it so he would turn his gaze toward me, I truly never expected to fall in love with him this much. In the end everything I did, every breath I took was so he could look only at me… just once I would have loved it if he had looked only at me… just once.'_

It was cold, somehow his body was getting even colder and the voices sounded far away, almost as if they were far away under water. There was the faint sound of footsteps rushing by, coming and going and the faraway screeching sound of the ambulance's siren.

'_It hurts… the pain in my chest is so big, my broken heart is so heavy, maybe this bullet will take it away. I want to die, because it hurts, because I love him. I want to die, my pain is greater than the wound caused by the piercing of the bullet. It's painful, that's why I have to die.'_

He thought briefly that someone was moving his limp body. Sudou wished with all his soul that they would just let him be.

'_It's painful, that's why I have to die.'_

'_Die.'_

'_Die.'_

'_I'm dying. Please, just let me die.'_

His consciousness was leaving his body; he could not even feel the pain in his body anymore. He felt numb and welcomed the absence of the ache within him. Tears ran freely down his cheeks and a small hand wiped them away. He was too tired to wonder whose hands those were.

'_I'm sorry Asami, for everything I did. Just once I would have liked to ask you, I would have liked to know… why was it never me?' _

'_I would have liked to see him, just one last time.'_

With that, whatever strength was left in his body left him and Sudou Shuu's body went rigid. His life left him and all that was left behind was an empty carcass lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood.

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**I hope you enjoyed this little work and look forward to my other stuff.**

**Setsuna**


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